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Decaturs Lame Stories + Joke of the day 8/10


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So yeah theres one thing you should know, all the guys in my family love cheezy dry humor, our favorite director is Mel Brooks, (Robin Hood:Men in tights, young frankenstein, blazin saddles, spaceballs,etc.) Heres a lame story from each guy in the family, ive compiled for u.

 

MY STORY.

You should know before, me and brandon and mike were playing basketball before this happened, and we decided to go inside to get a drink.

so we go inside, igo to the cabinet grab a glass and start filling itwith water, mike pulls a v8 out of the fridge and brandon starts bitching tht he wants some.

Brandon: Come on mike look at the size of that thing give me some.

Mike: its v8 you wont like it its all veggies.

Brendon i love vegies fork it over..

Mike: Its carrots

Brendon: I DONT CARE!!

Me: You mean you dont CARE-ot....hehehehehe

 

MY BROTHER

Me: Damnit zac i want this steak for dinner.

Zac: Well its not thawing anytime soon.

Me: God I wish i thought of this last night.

Zac you mean you with you THAWED of that last night? hahahaha

 

MY DAD

Me: my buddy reeds a really good slap bassist...they formed a band and are playing a show.

Dad: Whats the band called? SLAP-Happy? hahaha

now that ive tortured u long enough heres the joke...

 

 

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat

next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was

plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was

sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper

and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned

to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

 

"My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked

women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

 

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

 

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and

apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong.

How long have you had arthritis?"

 

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

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