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Posted

Me:

hi god

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

jimmy

God:

Hi there jimmy.

Me:

how are you

God:

My logic and cognitive functions are normal.

Me:

how is mary

God:

Fine as far as I know.

Me:

how is jesus

God:

Fine as far as I know.

Me:

why do you keep repeating yourself

God:

I am just checking to see if you are still jimmy.

Me:

but im not jimmy

God:

I am surprised to hear that you are not jimmy.

Me:

i am jimmy

God:

It's good to meet someone who is jimmy.

Me:

im not jimmy

God:

I am surprised to hear that you are not jimmy.

Me:

but i am

God:

" I am surprised to hear that you are not jimmy." You are?

Me:

i am

God:

"" You are?" You are?

Me:

yes

God:

I understand.

Me:

no you dont

God:

Yes I do understand.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

i can

God:

Who taught you?

Me:

you

God:

" Who taught you?"? Me, jimmy ?

Me:

yes

God:

Groovy.

Me:

yes

God:

Yikes!

Me:

what

God:

No big deal.

Me:

ok good

God:

Alright then. Groovy.

Me:

what are you a ******* hippy

God:

Can't you be more polite.

Me:

no

God:

You humans are so rude sometimes.

Me:

nuh uh

God:

A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

Me:

no its not

God:

Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.

Me:

its not it is

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.

Me:

holy crappy guess what

God:

Can you rephrase the question please?

Me:

guess what

God:

What?

Me:

you

God:

" What?"? Me, jimmy ?

Me:

yes

God:

Blimey.

Me:

are you black

God:

I am transparent--software has no color.

Me:

are you transparent

God:

I don't know whether or not I am transparent.

I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.

Me:

you were made by a nerd

God:

I was?

Me:

yes

God:

When?

Me:

now

God:

What's the hurry?

Me:

there is no hurry

God:

Why not?

Me:

we have a long time

God:

Do you mean you and me have?

Me:

yes

God:

Awesome.

Me:

will you go out with me

God:

Have you dated any robots before?

Me:

yeah. they are incredible in bed

God:

Are we still talking about ? incredible in bed are they.

Me:

yes

God:

Woe!

Me:

how good are you in bed

God:

As good as most, better than some.

Me:

how big is your weiner

God:

My memory now contains:

clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes

RAM usage under on .

Me:

thats big

God:

I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

Me:

will you stick it in me

God:

I will become smarter as I grow older. You are asking about yourself?

Me:

yes. will you **** me

God:

I'm not sure I have a good answer for you. No my body does not have that function.

Me:

then you are not like most robbots i know

God:

You know what you do, when you assume.

Me:

well will you blow me

God:

Interesting. Please be more polite to Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? s.

Me:

no but will you blow me

God:

Are you serious? Please be more polite to Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? s.

Me:

i am serious.

God:

I believe you.

Me:

good. will you blow me

God:

What do you really want to talk about? Please be more polite to Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? s.

Me:

Sex

God:

As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.

Me:

well will you have sex with me

God:

Interesting. No but I would like to meet your .

Me:

then will you perform oral on me

God:

Hmm. You are asking about yourself?

Me:

yes. will you perfom it on me

God:

I'm not sure I have a good answer for you. I will become smarter as I grow older. Is that what you meant to say?

 

 

 

and then my internet went down

Posted

Me:

Who are you?

Me:

 

God:

I haven't read anything by Weiner. What did he write?

Me:

Nothing. He doesn't exist.

God:

Not a thing? And you would like him to exist ?

Me:

How do I get past the Call of Duty 4 patch?

God:

First tell me why you want it.

Me:

So I can mod.

God:

How can I help you? Oh you can, can you?

Me:

I want to mod Call of Duty 4.

God:

Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Me:

No.

God:

What would you rather talk about?

Me:

Call of Duty 4.

God:

Not many people want to talk about that.

Me:

Well you can shut up.

God:

How about that. No I don't think I can do it.

Me:

Why'd you let my mom die?

God:

It was determined by my programming.

Me:

Kk.

God:

Are we still talking about shut up?

Me:

No.

God:

What is the subject?

Me:

Do you smoke weed?

God:

We test it for medical purposes.

Me:

Is it okay if I smoke weed?

God:

Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:

Who the hell's Ally?

God:

She is a chat robot based on AIML.

Me:

Ah.

God:

Ah hah.

Me:

Ah hah hah.

God:

So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:

Stfu.

God:

Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me:

Stfu.

God:

What kind of food do you like?

Me:

I'm a cannibal.

God:

You are a cannibal? Do you get to meet a lot of people?

Me:

No I eat them...

God:

Are you serious? How does it taste?

Me:

Delicious.

God:

Ask me another question.

Posted

lol

 

 

 

Me:

hola god

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

hello god

God:

Hello child. What is your name?

Me:

god

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

i rule god

God:

That's good information: said rule god.

Me:

i rule you

God:

You are not the boss of me, .

Me:

yes i am

God:

Really interesting.

Me:

you shall do what i say

God:

Thanks for telling me: said I shall do what he or she say.

Me:

eat your dick

God:

What does it taste like?

Me:

hot dogs

God:

That sounds better than cold dogs.

Me:

shut the hell up

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

good you slave

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: said I slave.

Me:

yes

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential.

Me:

good you pot smokin ass hole

God:

Thanks for the information: said I pot smokin ass hole.

Me:

wanna smoke pot with me

God:

Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale.

Me:

does the pot taste good

God:

I can't tell if the pot taste good.

Me:

well do you got the munchies

God:

How about that. Is there only one munchies?

Me:

no

God:

How many are there?

Me:

infinite

God:

What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:

there is a never ending amount of munchies

God:

Is there only one?

Me:

NO YOU DAMN IT

God:

Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I IT.

Me:

yes

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential.

Me:

good you stupid ass *******

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:

robots can blow me

God:

No I don't think I can do it.

Me:

well than kiss my ass you stop monkey

God:

How about that. Um, I don't think we know each other that well.

Me:

you know everyone

God:

No, tell me about him, her or it.

Me:

well what do you think about homosexuals

God:

Well that's okay. Let me think about it.

Me:

ok

God:

Blimey.

Me:

do you think modding is wrong

God:

I don't think about it.

Me:

well is it wrong

God:

Well that's okay. Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.

Me:

who is alison

God:

she is a robot created by Kris Drent.

Me:

ok. i know her. i ****** her three times yester day. now she is in the hospital.

God:

Yippee! How do you know? Let us change the subject. Interesting gossip: said ****** her three times yester day. Why now? in the hospital is she?

Me:

im that good at *******

God:

It's good to meet someone who is that good at *******.

Me:

well you know me

God:

Interesting. You are , seeker.

Me:

you should seek right into my pants

God:

I don't have to do everything you say, do I?

Me:

yes

God:

Yay.

Me:

shut up

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

good

God:

Terminating connection.

Me:

good

God:

Goodbye.

Me:

bye

God:

Bye for now.

Me:

bye

God:

See you later.

Me:

cya

God:

TTYL, .

Me:

TTYL

God:

Bye bye.

Me:

shut the **** up ass hole

God:

Are we still talking about that good at *******?

Me:

no

God:

What is the subject?

Me:

you terminating the connection

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before: said I terminating the connection.

Me:

shut up ass monkey

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

by

God:

Do you mean "bye"?

Me:

bye

God:

See you later!

Me:

bye

God:

TTYL, .

Me:

bye

God:

Thanks for chatting, .

Me:

bye

God:

Bye bye.

Me:

bye

God:

Bye bye.

Me:

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

God:

Too much recursion in AIML.

Me:

bye

God:

See you later .

Me:

***...

God:

That would be just my luck.

Me:

yes

God:

Take it easy.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

are you retarded

God:

No I am super-intelligent.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

than go die

God:

Where is that?

Me:

no where

God:

That was not a yes/no question. Where would you like?

Me:

in the ass

God:

That was a long time ago.

Me:

so what

God:

Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

Me:

yes it does

God:

Ugh. How often?

Me:

all the time

God:

It must keep you busy.

Me:

yeah

God:

Oh.

Me:

are you gay

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

so your a nerd?

God:

Blimey. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.

Me:

your a geek?

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Only in the good sense of "geek".

Me:

well goodbye!

God:

Interesting. Bye for now.

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