Joe Walls Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 (edited) Post your submissions here, I'll start with an example: ----------------------------------------------------------------------- :.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:Submitted by: Joe Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, I'll just hang around.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: ----------------------------------------------------------------------- :.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:Submitted by: Metalocalypse Q: Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?A: She did not want to get hearing aids:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: Edited May 25, 2009 by Joe Walls
Justrec Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 Q: How do you find the population of Mexico?A: Roll a Quarter down the street! (Everyone will run after it) ll Q: How do you find the richest man in mexico?A: Find the man who found the quarter!
lostmodz26 Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 1. Slimming Down A man was standing on the scale, sucking in his stomach. The man's wife sarcastically said, "I don't think that's going to help." "Sure it does," he said. "How else could I see the numbers?" 2. What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A private tutor!! 6. When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. 7. I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat. 8. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. 9. The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 11. Atom Humor Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my electrons!""Are you sure?" asks the other. "Yes," replied the first atom. "I'm positive." 13. The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. 15. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. 16. Conversation ------------- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. 17. You can listen to thunder after lightening to tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it never mind. 18. You can always pick your nose but you can never choose your face 19. Ever wish someone was a whine bottle and you could put a cork in em? 20. Constipated People Don't Give A crap. 21. Jay Lo Cal barely dressing 22. what do you call a fish without an eye? ....a fsssshhhh 23. I drank 8 cokes today... I burped 7-up 24. How do you make a venesian blind? ...you poke him in the eye 25. ask not what your country can do for you, ask who in your country you can do -President Clinton 27. Did you hear about thr new Chinese novel called "Spots on the Wall" by Who Flung Poo? whats green and brown, has 4 legs, and if it falls on you could kill you? Pool Table what do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand... Quatro sinko its like my daddy used 2 always say... "you can laugh now, but when u stop... you wont be laughin. whats a cow with no legs... ground beef. 33. Why dont you take a long walk off a short pier 36. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. 37. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 39. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? 40. Glasses -------- A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!" 42. Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery 43. May all your dreams come true, and may you have only nightmares. 44. I think I am a pretty decisive person. 45. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses 46. Ever been to Florida University? FU? 47. What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? Men always miss them. 48. If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food???
Joe Walls Posted May 24, 2009 Author Report Posted May 24, 2009 Q: How do you find the population of Mexico?A: Roll a Quarter down the street! (Everyone will run after it) ll Q: How do you find the richest man in mexico?A: Find the man who found the quarter! I said cheesy jokes not true jokes.
Slidell Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 (edited) Man1 I got a book on the history of super glue. Man2 How is it? Man1 I can't put it down. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL A horse came into a bar,the bartender said why the long face? Two peanuts walked into a bar one was a salted. Two Jews walked into a bar on went into a coma. Edited May 24, 2009 by GMOF Slidell♥
Slidell Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 LOL GMOF! Thats ******* mean. What the Jew joke?
Slidell Posted May 24, 2009 Report Posted May 24, 2009 Yep. Because it had a Jew in it,if it were two white guys would it be mean?
Joe Walls Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Posted May 25, 2009 I want really cheesy ones like this one: Q: What do you call a dinosaur who lost his glasses?A: Doyouthinkhesaurous
Metalocalypse Posted May 25, 2009 Report Posted May 25, 2009 Q: Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears? A: She did not want to get hearing aids
Joe Walls Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Posted May 25, 2009 Q: Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears? A: She did not want to get hearing aids LOL not really cheesy but that works
T3A guy Posted May 25, 2009 Report Posted May 25, 2009 Knock knockWho's there?MooMoo who?Don't cry, ur just a kittycow!
Quinn Posted May 25, 2009 Report Posted May 25, 2009 11. Atom Humor Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my electrons!""Are you sure?" asks the other. "Yes," replied the first atom. "I'm positive."*cough cough Fallout 3 cough cough*
Dan Posted May 25, 2009 Report Posted May 25, 2009 Knock KnockWho's there?BooBoo who?No need to cry, it's only a joke! Lulwut.
Slidell Posted May 26, 2009 Report Posted May 26, 2009 : ░█████░░░░░█████░█░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░█░░███░░░░░░░███░░█░█░░░█░░░░░█░░░███░░░███░░░█░░░████░░████░░░█░░█████░░░███░░░█░░░███░█░░░█░░░░░█████░░███░░░░░█░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░██░░░░██░░░░░░░░███░░░████████░░░░░░░███░░░░████████░░░░░███░░░░░░████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░████░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░█
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