Carlos Ray Norris

[Joe Walls]

The title is "Carlos Ray Norris" because that is Chuck Norris' Real name. I just wanted to share with you Chuck Norris' favorite facts actually picked by the man himself!

 

# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

 

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

#

 

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

 

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisâ beard. There is only another fist.

 

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnât lifting himself up, heâs pushing the Earth down.

 

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 

# Chuck Norrisâ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

 

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

 

# Chuck Norris doesnât wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

 

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

 

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

 

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

 

 

AND HERE ARE A COUPLE POPULAR ONES:

 

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

 

FIND MORE CHUCK NORRIS FACTS BY TEXTING "CNJ" TO 242-242(CHA-CHA) OR BY GOING TO WWW.CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM

[Pargy]

Mo one likes chuck norris anymore

[Joe Walls]

Burn in hell. JKJK, but I do. Sad:

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/farewell_letter.html